Owning Your Emotions and Sharing Responsibility

EmotionalControlAnxiety

As adults, it is important to become emotionally aware.  Emotional awareness is important because until you get a handle on how you are feeling, all of your relationships will be affected for either better or worse.  Effective change will never come around on its own until you learn to accept your feelings.  There are a few things you need to remember in order to become emotionally aware:

Feelings are neither good nor bad. 

How much time do you waste beating yourself up for feeling a certain way?  You cannot help how you feel.  Nobody wants to feel jealous, angry, anxious, or sad.  Those feelings come around for a reason.  Until you get to the heart of what is sparking those feelings inside of you, your feelings will never change.

Own your feelings.  

They are a part of who you are.  Don’t push them aside, hope they will go away, or reject them.  Validate them in whatever way seems appropriate.

Be accountable for your feelings.

If you have hurt someone else as a result of your negative feelings, reach out and take ownership of it.  You are not a perfect being, and most people already know that.  Accept yourself…both the good and the bad.

Let your feelings open the door to self-discovery. 

Your feelings tell you a lot about who you are as a person.  They tell you where your insecurities lie.  They tell you what you may need from someone else, or perhaps even from yourself.  Your feelings are your number one catalyst for change.  As scary as change can be, it is also what makes you grow and become a stronger and wiser person.

Share your feelings. 

Sharing your feelings with a trusted loved one is not always easy.  It indicates vulnerability on your part.  Still, by communicating your feelings openly and honestly, you are setting the stage for deeper and more meaningful relationships with those around you.  Those relationships will be based on honesty rather than deception.

Let’s pretend that Brenda was having feelings of jealousy in regard to her husband’s female co-worker.  She knew that her husband thought of the co-worker as a dear friend, and this made Brenda feel threatened.  She did not like feeling that way, for she truly trusted her husband.  Therefore, she kept her feelings to herself.  The end result was a growing resentment, and a lack of communication with her husband.  If Brenda had opted to be honest with him, she would have soon realized that her feelings of jealousy were for nothing.

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