30 For 30 Day 2: This One’s For The Homies

It has been a while since I have mentioned anything about me. I just want everyone to know that sometimes there are problems that extend far beyond my grasp. However today I feel the need to thank all the brothers at NCCU that I really do owe one too. When I say owe one, it means they helped me out in a situation or I hung them out to dry by not completely following through on our initial deal. My alias in college was Jim Stone. For obvious reasons this nickname was appropriate. Jim Stone sounds like a man who is hard both mentally and physically.

I had a few friends who I rolled with “to remain nameless” that I owe one too specifically. I’d like to first pay homage to my road dog who decided to roll with me one night to perform the ultimate switch-a-roo. Since we both played football we had high status on campus.

We gave this plan a lot of thought and at first glace, the plan was pretty solid. My homie was going to start with the hefty lefty light-skinned boo, and I was going to roll up the chocolate gum drop. Then about half way through the night we were going to switch. Both chicks were down so we got ready for the event and fired up the Escort and drove around to pick them up for the encounter. With events like this you had to be careful because my car was marked and when it pulled up beside any of the women’s dorms everyone was looking to see who was getting in or getting out..

We picked them up and carried them into the bat cave and commenced operation How Low Can We Go. Things are going smooth and the action has started on one side of the room. Action is a little slow on my side as the Chocolate gum drop is wavering after we start the exercise. Then she finally finishes the foreplay and is ready to dive in. I hear my partner screaming as the hefty lefty is slightly out of his weight range and she has taken control on top. I don’t really know if he is moaning from good sex or from the weight that is distributed on him.

So after she is fully undressed I get ready to dive in. I make my way around exploring the body and I detect a smell that I have never encountered before. The smell is so bad that I threw up in my mouth and had to run out of the room to throw up the rest of the contents in my stomach. She obviously knew why I was throwing up and began to put her clothes on. I really felt bad as I led my homie astray but he took one for the team and stepped up in weight class at the same time. If you are reading this, I appreciate you homie.

There was another encounter that needs to be mentioned. I had just moved back to the Bull City and taken up a room with a couple of homies. We were all close and knew about each others jump-offs so everything was cool in the fan. Usually we saw each other coming and going so we knew when to run interference. I had just left the student union, getting a haircut when I run across one of my former lady friends from my undergraduate days. We hadn’t seen each other in three years, but we had been in contact via telephone over most of that time. I invite her over to the crib and she agrees to come. I roll by her room and she packs a bag, which is a good sign because she knows what time it is. We get to the crib and nobody is home so I roll on into my room and we watch a little television and get comfortable. One thing led to another and before I knew it both of our clothes were off and we were laying on my waterbed. I hear my homie coming in the door and I hear him go into the room. I know everything is good so I move on in. The foreplay has just started and then I hear a tap on my door. I was thinking it was my boy so I was like you homie I’m kind of busy. Then I hear my girlfriend at the time at the door. She yells at the top of her lungs “let me in.”

That is when the panic set in. I’m busted, and there is no way out. We were staying on the third floor, so jumping out the window was not an option. This forced me to do what any man in my situation would do, ignore the knocking and remain as quiet as possible. She was persistent about banging on my door. Then it gets to the point where she hears another female in my room and she goes ballistic. She starts yelling “who the ____ is in there? I’m going to kill both of you.”

So I decide to put on my clothes and head out the door to settle things down. It didn’t matter; she wanted to come inside the room. To prevent her from coming in, I locked the door behind me. I walked out and boldly said “This is between me and you; leave her out of it.” Sure enough she settled down and cooled off. After I settled things down, I tried to go back into the room and she wouldn’t open the door. I called her name and she didn’t make a sound. Finally my other roommate came home and he had a key that would open the door so we went in. Old girl was lying in the floor having an asthma attack and the only person in the room that knew CPR was my girlfriend who also had asthma. My homie was quick though as we needed a paper bag to help recessitate the young lady. My homie went into the garbage and found an old Wendy’s bag to help with the process. I think it still had some fries stuck in the bottom of the greasy bag. Fortunately it worked and saved her life. I then took her home while my girlfriend stayed at the crib and waited for me to return.

Thanks for the paper bag homie. You saved your boy big time.

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