We are always in search of the person that is perfect for us but often times we see people who never find that person. Why is that? Why are there people out there who seem to be ideal but cannot close the deal? What guides our quest for the perfect mate? Believe it or not, selfishness is our driving force.
Too many times we have a grad illusion of the perfect somebody that is mostly based upon our vivid imaginations and desires rather than any objective criteria. Many of us enter the process of dating and relationships in an effort to obtain immediate and future gratification from our dating partners without thinking that maybe we are looking for too much from them from the start.
Too many times we see instances where couples are setting an unrealistic course that is based upon selfishness and high expectation of their partners. In attempts to make your partner’s imagination and selfish dreams come true, you go to extreme lengths to fulfill wishes and desires that can not be maintained over time. In essence you become what you are not and therefore, you both have set the course for relationship failure based upon each of your desires for instant gratification and all desires met.
Both men and women have essentially provided a misleading representation of themselves, being overly kind, spending extravagantly, being conscious of one’s physical appearance, always appearing truthful, having late night telephone marathons, and displaying a disposition of caring and commonality of interests are commonplace when painting a fairy tale picture of deception.
Taking your relationship to another level is impossible due to the fact that both of you need to share your flaws and openly communicate what you really want and do not want in the relationship. The social network sites have contributed to young people buying into the fantasy relationship as you can send imaginary gifts and portray yourself as the fantasy star. Each person in a relationship must understand that passion and desire are not the core virtues in any sustainable relationship.
Seriously I hear tales of men and women who go on $200 dates and for what…. you know what you want and what you are looking for and essentially overspending and misrepresenting yourself makes you shallow. What ever happened to society promoting core virtues of love, respect, and honesty. These virtues are what grounds a relationship and helps it to grow in a meaningful way. The acts of atonement and reconciliation are essential to help couples take responsibility for their hurtful behavior while ever striving to be a loving and respectful people.
Do not let your imagination and desires decide your selection for a soul mate. Let love, respect, and honesty decide this for you.