Discovering What You Already Know


I’ve been writing about things in my life for a while now. If you know me, you already know that I am a Gemini to the core. I get bored easily and sometimes I throw caution into the wind and do some asinine things. Periodically I forget that I am on a path to greatness and I throw a curve ball at the game of life.

Being a Gemini isn’t easy. Folks immediately label you and rightfully so as our reputation as journeymen and wanderers is more real than Santa Clause. This one chick that I went out with told me that I would be gone in a month so she was going to enjoy me while she could. Not sure how or why she said it though because I was planning on being around for at least two months before heading for the hills (seriously I am kidding).

Relationships are built on trust and character so when one of those things is broken, it usually results in one party creating an atmosphere that nobody is going to enjoy. I dated this one chick for a while and things were pretty good. We spent a lot of time together and got pretty comfortable in each others company. After a while of seeing each other we ran into some obstacles. These things were perpetuated by me being overly nice and somewhat a flirt on social media.

I’m guilty as charged as I’ve always been nice and borderline flirtations with people of the opposite sex. A part of me knows that but I still find it hard not to do it. My grandfather was the person who told me how important it was to make a woman feel special even if she wasn’t yours. He would say that women are the gem of the earth and even if you have no intent on ever being that persons man, it’s your duty as a man to make her feel special so she can make someones life better that day.

In today’s world it’s hard for a man to do that and sustain a relationship. Women are aggressive and they don’t leave any stones unturned. In the age of social media you have to be careful of the words you use. For example I am a teacher and every girl in the class is sweetheart and every man in the class is a young gentleman. They know that from me and it’s understood. However when I check out at the grocery store, its the same. Every person who helps me gets addressed that way. I think of myself as a southern gentleman.

The problem escalates when you tag someone as a sweetheart, sweetie or give her the ultimate compliment as a queen. Once this happens you have just crossed into dangerous territory with your lady. I’ve encountered this on numerous occasions. I get the “I can’t believe you called that *&*** a queen or sweetheart. She’s not even pretty.” That’s the point. Every woman is a sweetheart and a queen. Looks are not factored into the equation because I’m not trying to get with these women, I’m just being a gentleman.

Chivalry is lost in today’s society. Men don’t open doors or speak when they enter rooms filled with women unless they have an agenda. If we make eye contact, I speak. I open doors for women even if it means me going to all of the doors on a car.

I ran to open the door for this older lady the other day at the gym. She replied, “That was so sweet. You don’t see that anymore from young men. I’ve had men just let the door slam in my face on numerous occasions.” I said to her, “Please don’t give up on the next generation. We’re gonna get back to being the men that you can be proud of again.” She smiled and said, “I hope you’re right young man.”

Lessons that I learned that I should have already known:

  1. Don’t follow someone you actually like or date on social media. Especially if you know that they do things that may bother you.
  2. Don’t allow people to keep you from being who you really are. You’ll eventually hate yourself and them for pushing you in that direction.
  3. Find out what bothers them about what you say and do and try to find a middle ground that you can both agree upon.
  4. If your girl is a detective, stay consistent, because she will unearth the soul of a God to find the root of anything that you do out of the norm.



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