When you access your life you learn a lot about yourself. You have to know enough about yourself to analyze and see if you are fatally flawed. Some of us have been philanderers for a large part our adult lives. Sadly most of us have never had a problem with it either. As we grow older and access our relationships going forward, we have to really dial back on our excessive means and lock in on what is most important or we are doomed to fail. When you take a good look at all the relationships your actions have cost you, it should make you invoke reason as why and how you have lasted as long as you have in any relationship that you have had.
The American Dream is settling down and having a family that you can be proud of. The problem lies in the fact that most men really never want to be in one place for a long period of time.
That philosophy keeps us from inviting people into our space because for the most part we never planned on being there long enough to put roots down anyways. Many of us are so particular in our actions that when we start getting too close to people or we start to get too emotional, we push them away because we start to believe that they might actually be a person that we could commit to long term and that frightens men and their beliefs.
For a lot of us, that type of commitment scared the life out of us because that’s not who we are. Typically we end up doing something or saying something that would lead to an argument or a discussion that would create enough separation for us to gather our thoughts and redirect our focus to a lesser status even if our heart may still be in it.
Times are changing though. As we fall through the cracks too often we start to look for something more concrete. As a father, as a man who longs to set good examples, as a pillar of the community, it’s time for us to become the men that we should be. Are roots a bad thing? Is committing yourself to something long term a bad idea? For some of us, the monotony of routine behavior gets old really fast. If you have something periodically, you tend to crave it more and more. It just works better for a lot of us that way. We should know ourselves enough to know that too much of anything is never a good thing.
Why fight who you are? Some of the best relationships occur when you only see the other person periodically. How does one grow to the point where they want constant engagement with someone? It obviously works, but to what extent. People think they want to spend the rest of their lives together but when they make that commitment, it rarely ever sticks. The shocking truth is that the divorce rate in America is roughly about 45%. That number may be a little higher or lower depending upon who you ask but the reality is that people very rarely stick after they put so much time and effort into each other.
Interestingly enough, people who were together and separate tend to find each other again more than 20% of the time but they never renew what they had, they just learn to make it work without titles or judgement. The reality is that as we get older we figure it out. We learn from what we did wrong and we make it work. Life has a funny way of humbling us to accept and forgive. When we don’t get to that point, we lose perspective and carry things with us into something new.