Have you ever had this girl or guy that you dated or wanted to date and you look at who they are with and measure yourself against them? You always find a way to put them down or put down that person that you wanted to make yourself feel better or to make them feel worse as a way to cope with your feelings.

If you find yourself in this situation, some people may refer to you as a Simp. Some people consider it laying your jacket down over a puddle of water so that the woman of your dreams may walk over it (and you) on the way to her boyfriend’s house. Some think it’s a possible outcome from when people get ‘stuck’ in the whole courting dance right after the initial “I really like this person and find them attractive phase” and because of a lack of experience and social skills you can’t close the deal. Some think it’s just a sad hole that people fall into because they have no self-esteem or self-worth and turn the person that they are longing for into something much, much bigger than any person can be. Many think it’s only bad once you start to rationalize your actions by either ignoring the obvious signs that say this is going nowhere or lose perspective on the situation altogether.

I met this girl in one of my classes in my final year of my bachelor’s degree. Smart and witty for most of my life has been my type and she had that working for her. We hung out once or twice but it never got serious enough to get anything popping. I was feeling her and I eventually asked her out, but over on her phone voice mail, and that was pretty stupid of me.

She said no of course, but there are a whole mess of reasons why she realized we wouldn’t work out. Ironically we ended up staying connected as friends and we would chat from time to time. She’s went back to school a few years later when I was working at a college in an effort to get her master’s degree.  We reconnected and had a good time. We hung out a few more times after that, but I never called the hangouts dates or anything. Then again this was after she said no to a date so I wouldn’t dare label it something that it’s not. I always would wonder how she would have felt about me if she would have given me a chance. I’d see her with other dudes and think to myself they could never give her what I can.

Today I can honestly say that I don’t really have a ‘type’, if that’s the way to put it. I pursue people based on a bevy of factors. Looks are only a part of the equation. I think that how you connect with a person is far more important. I can tell if I will be interested in a person five minutes into the conversation. Looking back,  I can understand why she didn’t want me at the time because I had a history with a lot of women she knew. I’d like to think since then I’ve improved and become a better person overall.

Not sure why, but I still think of that girl sometimes even though I’m over her. Probably because we chat intermittently now and when she talks she sounds like she’s interested but I’m over it. Last week I talked about LETTING GO. I let go but I have to say that periodically I will look back at that instance and many more and put myself in the driver’s seat and wonder what if? I guess that makes me a Simp.


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