Many people believe that living together is a good test run before committing to marriage, helping to lessen the inevitable marital problems. But moving in together means a commitment that goes deeper than many people realize – buying or renting a place together, getting a dog and sharing in an exclusive relationship. And couples who aren’t sure they want to marry will find it much more difficult to end the relationship.
However I think I read somewhere a few years ago that the overall divorce rate is higher among couples who have lived together before marrying. However this weekend in preparing for your question I uncovered a new study that shows that the real risk is for those who lived with someone other than their eventual spouse.
I am not trying to encourage living with someone that you aren’t married to; I am just stating that sometimes it makes the transition to marriage a little easier since you already know a little about the person.
Regardless of what anyone tells you, you never really know a person until you have lived with them. Believe me I know. I dated this chick for a while and she had caught me cheating a couple of times and we both decided that it was because I was living in a different city, so we decided to try and move in together. (I know that sounds foolish, and it was but hey I was busted, I was just going with the flow) Things were great for the first year. The sex was great, she cooked and cleaned and I was in heaven. Then something bad happened, I got a pager for my birthday. Wait this is turning into another one of those stories. I better stop here. You get the point… I guess I should finish since I already started.
Oh I got a pager with a 1 800 number.. That may not seem big to you but that was huge in the mid 1990’s. So chicks had access to me from anywhere on the planet which may not seem huge to you but remember that you couldn’t make long distance calls on a cell without a fee until like 2003 and that was nights and weekend minutes. Anyways back to the story. I had met this one chick that was amazing with her tongue. She could do things with her tongue that would be illegal in 41 states if she had lived during prohibition.
The chick I was living with was upset and went nuts one day when this chick paged me. She was like call her back, tell her you have a girlfriend, and you live with her. So I did what any grown intelligent man would do. I dialed the local weather information number and talked like a grown man to a recording and she was satisfied. Things were great until we moved to another city. When we did that it was the beginning of the end. But see it’s not what you think. First she stopped cooking. Ok no biggie there was a Bojangles up the street. Then she stopped cleaning. I was like wait this is getting nasty but no biggie, I stepped up my cleaning game. Then she stopped the sex. That was the last straw. I went out and found the finest thing I could and we had a relationship that was incredible for a man living with another woman. We were able to keep our relationship together for about 3 more years before she realized that I was not the one for her and I realized that she was not the one for me. Living together helped us out…. So I am not sure if I answered your question but I sure do feel better about myself right now.
*of course this is a fictional story… 🙂