Forcing Things Never Works Long Term


Life has an amazing way of humbling us. As people on this planet, we often think we control our destiny or in some ways we believe that we can force things into existence. What we should be doing is trying to incorporate things into a plan or vision that we have for ourselves and stop forcing things that we want to see into existence.

Everything from jobs, friendships, and relationships are factored into this equation. Life lessons should be learned from. Models for success are everywhere but the model that you need to work from may not be in play right away. People who are good at what they do are good at it because they know when to take calculated risks. They play chess with their adversaries and make the moves that send them into the position that they want them to play. 

People who try to force things may have success, but they often leave themselves exposed because they spend too much time on things that they want versus whats good for the team. When someone asks you who’s the greatest quarterback of all time, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they answer the question. If they say Brett Favre, then you know they are a person who likes to take chances and risks. If they say Tom Brady, then you know they are calculated and they are willing to concede being the focal point for the nature of success.

Leading with ultimatums never works. You should have learned form your childhood that when someone demands something of you, then you usually go in the opposite direction out of reflex. It’s innate. Why not guide a person to what you want? Show them that they can benefit from certain things in their lives if they cooperate with you on the journey or vision that you have.

Team building is complex in nature. The most successful teams love playing together. Whether in Sports (Golden State Warriors, New England Patriots) or life (Barack and Michelle, Will and Jada) the common denominator is appreciation for what each piece brings to the table. If I bob and you weave then the chances of us being successful are greater because of the response to stimuli. But if I bob and you bob harder, all you’ve done is created an obstacle that creates discourse.


3 thoughts on “Forcing Things Never Works Long Term

  1. femmemuscle January 23, 2017 / 10:38 am

    Good morning Mr. Simmons..:)

    I have a husband that used to work in Silicon Valley. He had the “wonderful opportunity” to work with the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Krate Bahmer, etc. These are the richest and most successful men in the U.S., and though Jobs is dead, his legacy and products still go on.

    None of these gentlemen have ever made it by “team work”.. Those that worked behind the scenes in the Silicon Valley world – know that the most powerful people through out the chain down to the managers use the media to look as if their workers are “happy”.. And people believe.

    The top managers, directors in these companies rule with an iron fist. They obtained what they wanted through power struggles, manipulation, fear tactics and threats. Because people are so “passive” and “need the money” “fear for their lives” “fear for their livelihood” “Got mouths to feed”..They succumb without a fight. Thus making “fear” and intimidation the norm in the work place. And the ones in power? Reap the benefits.

    They are so powerful, that even when people leave these companies they have to sign papers stating that they cannot share their experience with the public – or they’ll have an attorney up their cracks before they can say: “Where did that lawyer come from??”

    Hitler, Mussolini, Kim Jong II, Kim Jong III, Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin DaDa, Vladimir the Imapaler – the list of Dictators that came to power through basically bludgeoning their societies into conformity were not nice – but they were successful. And they ruled to their death and didn’t give a damn about being criticized for it.

    Today, we’re seeing with our own eyes – history being relived again through Trump, Putin, Baby Kim, and others. And millions lay down, let them do whatever they want – hoping that karma or the lord gawd almighty wins in the end.. They don’t.. Trump is not “playing nice” like Obama. Already? People are saying that Trump has done in EIGHT DAYS what Obama didn’t have the balls to do in EIGHT YEARS.

    There’s truth to being a team player. But the ones in the CHARGE OF THE TEAM – Don’t play fair, don’t a give sh**t, and that’s the reason why they OWN the “team”..

    Let’s take it a step further. The very land you’re standing on? Wasn’t given to the Europeans, Pilgrims. It was forcefully taken from them.

    The reason why our ancestors were and still are SLAVES? It’s not because we negotiated with the slave traders to come over here on a luxury ocean liner with luggages like every one else. It’s because our ancestors were forced to come here work, get raped, murdered, etc.

    The lesson is right under your feet, Mr. Simmons. The very land you stand on was stolen. The propaganda you’re reading about “team work” – is how SLAVES have to get along. The Slave OWNERS don’t follow that play book.

    • Joe Simmons January 23, 2017 / 10:53 am

      I get your point in the business sense. The business world is all Alpha. This post was supposed to be about building a life together. I’m sure your husband didn’t walk in and hit you with an ultimatum and say you better do it or I’m out. He led you into it by letting you know it was important to him. He in turn listens to what you have to say and makes it work too. You are dead on about the business world and even life. I won’t disagree with that at all. Thanks for chiming in. You just gave me an idea for another post.

      • femmemuscle January 23, 2017 / 3:31 pm

        Hello again Mr. Simmons:)

        The males like my husband don’t have to give an ultimatum. It’s a very different strata that the middle class and below have no clue about. Donald Trump, Bill Gates, etc? If you’re going to be with them? You already HAVE to have your act together. They don’t settle, they don’t compromise – they know what they want, and there’s no “leading” “talking things over”.. If you don’t have it – these types are just like myself – find someone else who does.

        Team members of a higher caliber don’t waste their time. Celebrities don’t marry janitors. Politicians don’t marry a nurse. Artists don’t marry a cab driver.. They practice natural selection. Thus, no time for “ultimatums” or the drama that the AVERAGE person deals with on a daily basis.

        Whether it’s in business, or in personal lives.. Team members of a higher mind set, and level of education should be on equal footing to begin with. Otherwise, you’ll get dragged down quickly.

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