If You Are Who You Say You Are


Yesterday I got this question in my inbox. I have no idea how to answer it.

As an inquiring male, I have one question for you ladies who have taken on the lesbian status. I understand that being homosexual is your choice and I don’t knock you at all for it. However if you’re going to be a lesbian, why not just be a woman while doing it? Why do you cut your hair to a low fade like a man? Why do you start wearing saggy jeans, baseball cap and high top Jordan’s? Why do you start wearing sports bras to push your chest down and give the appearance of not having boobs? Why do some of you even go as far as starting to talk like a man? This is definitely not to bash anyone AT ALL!!! My question is “Why not just get a Man if you dating a girl that looks like a man?? Is it the emotional attachment?? What is it??? Serious question!!!”

I don’t know the person who sent it but I guess they have been questioning things themselves. I can’t speak for anyone who is a lesbian because it’s not my place. I personally know women who are lesbians who are very beautiful women and embrace it. I also know women who are lesbians who have taken on the persona of males but are still confident in their choice. Most of what he’s stating is stereotype in my opinion, but he does raise some interesting points but as I mentioned I’m not qualified or certified to respond because it’s out of my area of expertise.

I was super hesitant to put this up because of the backlash I’m sure it will get, but there may be others out there who are wondering the same thing and would like to hear an answer. I’m also sure there are women out there who may feel the same way about men.

Any thoughts on this?


10 thoughts on “If You Are Who You Say You Are

  1. Tareau Barron March 6, 2017 / 2:50 pm

    Hmmm??? Well here in the bay area you see different types of women who are lesbians no matter there personality trait. Maybe it’s a stereotype?

  2. eddiestarofficial March 6, 2017 / 3:53 pm

    It all goes back to the intersectionality argument about eliminating traditional roles of gender and sexuality.

    • Joe Simmons March 6, 2017 / 3:57 pm

      It really does appear to be that simple.

      • eddiestarofficial March 6, 2017 / 4:02 pm

        But I must admit that societal norms can be ever changing and confusing. On one end you have Rachel dolezal being condemned for being ‘trans-racial’ but caitlyn Jenner being praised for being transgender. But idk

  3. iamsunnyd March 9, 2017 / 11:14 am

    I would say the ones that dress more like a man, Identify as a man they might not want to go full blown Transgender…but dressing in clothes that make them fit comfortable.

    Some dress like women and just are sexually attracted to females. I guess…maybe I’m wrong. Who knows..

    • Joe Simmons March 9, 2017 / 11:15 am

      Interesting. I hope the person sees some of these responses and it answers their question.

      • iamsunnyd March 9, 2017 / 11:16 am

        Yes, I do as well. I would love to hear their response to this.

  4. Urban Bushwoman March 14, 2017 / 8:42 pm

    I think whomever wrote that is a butt hurt, jealous, ignorant, f*cking asshole!!
    1. Being a lesbian is not a “choice”. They are born that way.
    2. Lesbians are always women hence using the term “lesbian” -a woman who loves the same gender.
    3. What is the requisite attire for a lesbian in this asshole’s opinion? Does this mean that straight people wear certain clothes?

    And then this dick wants to say “this is not to bash anyone at all”. That whole message is chock full of microaggressions. If this is the way men think, then it is clear why women want to date other women.

    Also, lesbians do what makes them feel comfortable just like gay men, straight people, the Pope, your mama, and everyone else in the world. Stop putting people in boxes and read a f*ckin book!

    • Joe Simmons March 14, 2017 / 8:45 pm

      Well I think you summed it up. He never came back with a response.

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