For most of us, one of the most painful things we can experience is a relationship break up. It’s like losing an important part of yourself.
But what if I told you that a relationship break up can turn out to be a very good thing for you? What if I said that it’s a chance to find yourself again and examine your priorities and your place in life?
You’re standing at a crossroads – all you need to do is make the right decision about how to proceed.
Why is a relationship break up so painful?
A divorce or other break up usually goes something like this: one partner leaves, the other copes with the loss. How well they manage to deal with this loss depends on three factors:
- The kind of relationship which they had with their partner
- Their expectations for the (now failed) relationship
- Their life experiences and personality traits
A relationship break up isn’t an easy thing for anyone. The personality, expectations and life history of the partner left behind determines the degree of suffering they will experience. How well and how quickly they will heal depends on how well they can face up to these things. If they can look into themselves, identify problem behaviors and remedy them, then the healing will really begin – and every other element of their lives will begin to improve.
A relationship break up abruptly exposes our weaknesses and the fears and pain we have carried with us all our lives. This is an opportunity to get rid of these negative emotions once and for all.
As you might know, overcoming a break up involves a roller coaster ride of emotions. One minute you feel great, the next you are in deep depression. To escape these downtimes is often a big challenge.
While there are different techniques that can help you avoid these moments, a lot of break up victims listen to break up songs to ease their pain. And it works: certain break up songs can help you to get over those hard moments.
I would like to warn you against making a big mistake in this situation. There is one very important premise you need to remember when listening to these songs: they have to be empowering, inspirational and they have to pick you up again.
There is a temptation to listen to those “heart-killing” break up songs, (you know what I mean).
Don’t do it!
I made that terrible mistake back then. I listened to those special break up songs that reminded me of her over and over for weeks. It not only delayed my healing process, I fell into a deep depression and wallowed in my own misery.
Don’t make that same mistake.
These kinds of break up songs can help you to cry out accrued emotions, but this will only work at the very beginning – the 1st Phase. Later, they would likely throw you into the vicious cycle of your memories, from which it is very hard to escape. (Trust me – I know what I’m talking about).
The other kinds of break up songs that you have to avoid are “hate-your-ex-songs”.
The goal in the long run is to get rid of your anger towards your Ex, so listening to this kind of song will only give you false ease, which will hurt you in the long run.
Remember, don’t listen to heartbreak or hate songs – listen to EMPOWERING break up songs.
Listed below, I have collected for you the 10 best break up songs. I have not taken my personal musical taste into consideration here, (mine is really not mainstream), but rather focused on lyrics that will pick you up and pull you out of your depression.
Additionally, I looked for tunes which can convey these kinds of lyrics, (what’s the use of the great, uplifting lyrics if the song makes you fall asleep?).
So, pull out your iPod, check out the following empowering break up songs and create your playlist:
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
Wasted – Carrie Underwood
Cry Me A River – Justin Timberlake
Keep Ya Head Up – Tupac
What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
Survivor – Destiny’s Child
Tyrone – Eryka Badu
One Last Cry – Brian McKnight
It’s Over Now – Debra Cox
Did I do That – Mariah Carey
Doin Just Fine – Boy’s to Men
He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me – Toni Braxton
I am sure there are many more that you could name. I included songs for both males and females so everyone could use them. Feel free to list any songs you use and list them in the leave a comment section.