You Not Your Representative

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Too many times when starting to date, you meet a persons representative in the early stages. Mannerisms and how people act can tell you everything you need to know about a person and the art of ‘being yourself on a date.’  They have pasted on fake smiles, giggle and laugh a little too loud, play with their hair a little too much and do everything possible to hide their flaws – whether it be a blackhead, or the inability to hold down a job.

Obviously, if you are dating people then you are looking for someone to make a connection.  Yet, if you are unable to be yourself or try to put on airs in order to avoid the other person getting to really know you…you might as well just stay home.

Sadly, the world of internet dating and hook-ups has made it even easier for folks to live under false pretenses and make other people think that they are something they aren’t. Continue reading

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What’s In a Name

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All of my life I’ve struggled with names. I forget peoples names all of the time. Ask me any persons name on television and I can tell you their characters name but I can barely remember their real name unless there is some form of attachment. This flaw that I possess requires me to get really creative to help remember peoples names.

I like to equate things I miss into categories of lowest to highest and the most intimate things in my life get a nickname. The nickname will usually tell me everything I need to know about the situation and the more intimate the nickname, the more the item means to me.

I once dated a chick and I called her baby cakes. Continue reading

30 For 30 2013: Day 9 – Story Telling

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I’ve been told I am bad at a few things in life. I know everyone has some things that they can work on but my imperfections are apparent. However I have never been accused of not being able to tell a good story. In fact that is the one good thing about me that remains consistent. When I tell the story, it sometimes sounds too good to be true.

Don’t you love a good story-teller? Doesn’t everybody? The children circle around the story-teller, and they’re the life of the party everywhere they go. And of course, they make the most entertaining lovers (or so I’ve been told).

Everybody has a great story or two. Stories connect us and bring us closer together. They tell the ideals of things that make you wonder how on earth that happened and make you wish you would have been present when it was going down. Story telling can be great in building bonds in relationships as well. If you want to impress a young lady, tell her a story about you that makes you look human, yet shows that you can handle situations out of the ordinary and see if she is not intrigued.

I’ve often told people about the art of story-telling as a dating skill. In my day I used it to my advantage. However you have to be careful not to use it like a crutch. I would also suggest that you know what an appropriate story for the situation is. Some stories are only one minute long, and some stories take an hour. The best are the ones that you remember spontaneously in the course of conversation. Women seem to like spontaneity.

Remember to give the other person a chance at their turn in telling a story. When you get to swapping tales, I feel like it’s a sign that at least you have good dating potential. Bonus points if you can both make each other laugh. If you do that, you’ll see a spark begin to form.

You may think this is a little lame but trust me it works. In fact I would argue that there is a story for every situation. You can tell stories about your first encounters with the opposite sex. You can tell stories about situations that are funny. You can tell stories about a date that just didn’t work out. You can also tell stories about what you expect in your mate. The main thing is that you stay genuine. People can spot a faux from a long ways away.

My stories are personalized so they have meaning to me and they lead to better conversation. I am fortunate to have friends and family to share my stories with and build new stories to tell. Remember this when you hang out with me. I promise not to disclose any names, but you are sure to find yourself in one sooner or later.